Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough - that we should try again.
-Julia Cameron
do you work really, really hard to meet your own expectations?
Do you find yourself often very motivated to do better and work harder which has led to positive results, like getting recognized at work and school, with your peers, by coworkers, or your family?
Do you find yourself trapped in the cycle of continuously striving to do better than how you did before and getting more anxious that you couldn’t meet that expectation?
Do you find yourself procrastinating on projects because you don’t want it to be any less than perfection or that you over-prepare because you fear it won’t be good enough?
You, as a high achiever, are no stranger to the unyielding pursuit of excellence. That drive within you has pushed you to set formidable goals and achieve remarkable feats. But let's talk about the flip side of this determination. It can sometimes feel like a heavy weight on your shoulders. The constant need to meet sky-high standards in your career, personal life, and even within yourself can be emotionally draining. It's like a never-ending quest for perfection, and it brings along a sense of anxiety, doesn't it? The fear of not living up to your own expectations and the pressure to excel in all areas of life can weigh you down. It's a cycle that might make you overlook your own well-being as you wrestle with the ever-elusive pursuit of perfection. It's okay to acknowledge these feelings, and it's alright to seek balance and self-compassion along the way.
perfectionism inhibits growth.
You may believe that being a perfectionist has led you to being the best person you can be. It may have been beneficial at one point. What was the expense?
Do you overextend yourself?
Do you over-prepare?
Do you procrastinate because you fear it won’t be perfect in the first go around?
Are your accomplishments never good enough?
Do you put your all into something because you fear being mediocre or a failure?
Trying to be perfect does not necessarily mean you are working towards success. Perfectionism refers to your self-defeating thoughts/behaviors that tells you that you need to reach these unrealistic goals. You may feel robbed of personal satisfaction and prevent you from trying new things because of the fear of failure.
Causes
At some point if your life, you were praised for how much you can achieve. Consequently, you learned that your value is based on people’s approval and your esteem stems from external factors such as grades, accomplishments, rewards, and numbers. You may feel super sensitive to other’s opinions and criticism. As a protective factor, you may try your best to be perfect to avoid the criticism.
Beliefs associated with perfectionism can be:
Failing makes you unworthy
Making mistakes is considered failing
Avoiding disapproval from others because you fear not being accepted
All-or-nothing thinking
Rigidity
Lots of “should”s rather than following personal desires
Social comparisons with others and believing success for them comes easy
Pressure for self to achieve
are you ready to accept the parts of yourself you often criticize?
I understand you have gone through life doing very well. There may be increased pressure to continue to put up that image.
You don’t have to carry all the weight by yourself. I am here to assure you that you are doing way more than enough and your worth is not tied to your production.